Why does the captain need to tell me what altitude I’ll be flying at all the time? What possible use can I make of that information? Is he trying to engage me in small-talk? Does he want my input? Does he want to know if I concur? Yes, we should fly at 30,000 feet, or no, that’s way too low. Bring her up to 50,000 feet Captain, I think that’s where she needs to be.

Why do they play such soothing string quartet music as the soundtrack to the onboard safety video? Surely it would be more realistic and more constructive to play the video to the sounds you’re likely to hear should your plane experience a sudden drop in cabin pressure, as well as the sounds you’d hear should your plane be diving towards a crash; like the sound of people screaming; and the sound gushing wind makes when you’re flying at 30,000 feet and there is a hole in the plane. Surely that would better simulate what you would be up against in an emergency and wouldn’t it be a good idea to watch that video carefully? Such a soundtrack would definitely get people’s attention; nobody watches the safety video anymore. On an El Al plane you could also mix into the soundtrack of screaming the voices of frantic, desperate people chanting the Shema Israel, the prayer before dying, for extra realistic effect.

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